I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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