even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
In America we eat man semen.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
