I think my vagina is haunted
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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