The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
organizing the empties. That sober.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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