My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just had sex on a roof
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
