Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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