I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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