My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
