im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hotel room ftw
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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