if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
