I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
