what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
