You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
