I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You may now shotgun with the bride
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize