i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
