Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
