The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
