Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
