I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize