Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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