just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
this hospital has no fireball
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize