Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
