she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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