I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Randomize
