remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you inspire me to be a worse person
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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