He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
