of course. lets lasso hookers.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize