I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
