i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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