So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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