I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
