We're like a lot better than the average bears
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
