Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
