I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
