I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
