Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
