Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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