It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
