I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
