You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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