Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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