and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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