My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
