I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
