Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize