Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
