It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
