is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize