Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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