pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
