Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize