Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
