I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Houston, we have a blender
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I want a musical about memes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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