It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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