Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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