i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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