And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
