The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
