So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
