the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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