they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize