He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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