You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
