We're facebook friends in real life
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
