don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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