And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
