I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
