I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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