OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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